5 Tips for Stopping ‘Doing’ and Starting ‘Being’

In my Step Rich Thoughts Process,  there are 2 distinct steps named Faith and Trust. What’s the difference? Faith is the bigger picture, that holds you as you explore life and all its wonders, while trust is easier seen when applied to smaller, more specific activities, actions or situations. In business, you probably know that people buy from those they like, know and trust. You can see this clearly amongst your friends and colleagues – you probably want to support them if you like what they are offering, and you show this support when you recommend a client or customer to them. But what about the balance between the old saying ‘I trust that all is well’ and taking action because you want things to happen?

Making things happen is something that many humans are brilliant at. I’ve been fantastic at it (wrote and published 2 books and several audio tapes; created a thriving psychotherapy practice; led a successful complementary health clinic amongst other things). Some humans are better at it than others, and they can be broken down into people who are great at starting projects, those who are better at managing them as they happen, and those who are really good at winding things up (lots of practice for those people in our current economy!)

But it takes effort. Making things happen really does take effort, and that’s why some people get burnt out. You do, do, do, and then you stop (if you’re lucky, or made to stop if not so lucky); only to do, do, do again when you’ve had a bit of rest or your health improves.

But what about stopping making things happen altogether? I first contemplated this idea in my early forties when having a baby was something that wasn’t happening the normal, easy (fun!) way. It’s a bit of a long story to tell here now, but the essence of it was that after several years, it became obvious that this was one situation in my life that I couldn’t make happen. And anyway, I REALLY didn’t want to anymore.  I just wanted to stop trying to make it happen, and then see what would emerge instead. (What happened was no baby, but other things happened instead, like the birth of my first book, Choose Your Thoughts Change Your Life. Would I have even contemplated writing that if I’d had a child? Who knows – and maybe it doesn’t matter anyway!).

In business, when you stop ‘trying’ and start ‘being’ things also tend to happen. The real challenge however is the ‘waiting’ period when you are no longer trying but haven’t yet fully grasped the essence of ‘being’.

Here’s some tips to help you if you’re in this position:

1. Use your regular spiritual practice to hold you in your uncertainty (and if you haven’t got one, take it up! Doesn’t matter what it is – what matters is to do it regularly, every day if possible).

2. Make a deliberate decision to have faith be your friend. When you have this quality as your companion in life, and can return to its loving arms regularly, then trusting in the smaller aspects of your day
is much easier.

3. Ask your self what energy you are bringing to each task you have to do, and if it even begins to veer towards ‘pushing’, ‘contraction’, ‘or ‘yearning’ energy then stop.  Go and do something completely different, preferably in a different environment (no matter how mad it seems) and only return to your task when that energy has shifted. Or use one of the energy medicine techniques like EFT, TAPAS, or TAT to help that energy move. Or just go and run about outside and let your emotions move through your body!

4. Trust that the particular situation you are in will resolve itself in a way that your limited mind cannot even begin to imagine. Affirm this most days – and then let go of thinking about it.

5. Pray for a miracle. Ask for a miracle. Expect a miracle. Do this while holding your situation loosely (ie not worrying), as miracles find it a lot harder to come through if you are holding on tight to what you think would be the best outcome. Imagine yourself holding some water in the palm of your hand – hold it gently and the water will stay there. Hold it tightly and it disappears.

Back in 2010, we had an opportunity to make a previous business we had had in Ireland bankrupt (that is, before the bank could do it to us; we were advised there would be several advantages of starting that process ourselves). But what we did was nothing. Nothing. Instead, we used these principles above, and waited.

Two months later the bank came to us and began the process that ended recently with the agreement I have referred to in other newsletters. So when the miracle of this agreement happened, I wasn’t that surprised.
Surprised by the amount maybe of the settlement, but not surprised it had happened – because that was what I had been asking for.

So when you find yourself in a position where you are either wanting to stop trying so hard, or needing to make a decision, apply these principles and then sit back and watch.  It can be rather a hairy ride sometimes 😉 but what you’ll learn along the way is amazing! It catapulted me into finding an easily accessible place of peace within myself that will be with me now for the rest of my days. And for that I am very grateful indeed.

2 thoughts on “5 Tips for Stopping ‘Doing’ and Starting ‘Being’

  1. Hi Jane, all that lovely wisdom came from 2 years ago already! imagine if you’d write an update on that article now, what further depths of Faith and Trust you’ve plumbed and mined since then, can’t wait……;-) xx

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