They’re all forms of resistance, and resisting is what I have just been doing. Yes, resisting writing this article! But I became inspired to sit down and write when I realised I was practicing the very thing I wanted to write about! And that acknowledgment of what was really going on, allowed the resistance to transform into action.
This is one of the tricks about resisting. So long as you are stuck in the pattern of thought, feeling or action that is demonstrating itself as resistant, then that’s where you’ll be – stuck.
I’m sure you’ll recognise this example above, but here’s a few more ways that resistance shows up in your behaviour. Tick the ones that apply to you.
Thinking you have to do it all, and therefore rarely if ever delegating
Regularly working late, to the detriment of home life
Answering the phone during mealtimes/breaks
Lack of regular book-keeping
Answering emails more than 3 times/day
Never completing anything
Not asking for help/feedback
Charging ahead with action before stopping to engage with your inner self first
By doing this exercise you are doing the most valuable thing you can do in regards to resisting – admitting that it is happening in the first place. Ideally, you would be doing the opposite of resistant behaviour.
What’s that? Accepting.
Whoa! I hear a whole lot of shouts go up. OK, you don’t need to go immediately from resisting to accepting (although it is in fact quite possible). Sometimes though it is easier to take it step by step, (and if you’re familiar with my work you’ll know that I favour going step by step for practically everything in life and business!). But why would I want to accept the very thing I don’t want, I hear you say? Paradoxically, this is the way that the resistance begins to drop away.
Because this is such a hot topic in that everyone experiences resistance often, I address it in my RichThinking Way teleclass series in 3 out of the 12 classes, with a focus on how it shows up in your Thoughts, Feelings and Actions. If you know you’re a grand master at resisting in whatever form it shows up, you might like to join us when we start on 1st September.
In the meantime, here’s 7 essential things that have to happen if you want to let that resistant behavior of yours go.
1. Notice you’re doing it in the first place.medium;”>2. Stop any self-criticism and instead pat yourself on the back for having admitted you’re resisting.3. Ask yourself whether you really want to let this behavior go. (And be very honest with your answer!)4. If you get a no, practice accepting the No! Seriously, if you get a no to that question, then give yourself a break, stop pretending you want to change, and continue as you were but without the self-criticism. In other words, accept yourself and your behavior the way you are. It’s OK! (No need then to continue with the next 3 steps of course).5. If you get a Yes, then take inner steps to change. Some of these steps could be using affirmations to change any negative beliefs around the behavior; visualising yourself with, for instance, a clean, clear desk instead of the usual messy one; and putting yourself into a good-feeling place before you do any activity.6. Take appropriate outer steps. These of course will depend on what your resistant behaviour is, but for instance, if you’ve not been doing your books regularly, you would set up a system to help you do that, diarise it for a certain time each month, and make a commitment to sticking to it.7. Make sure you persist in taking the inner and outer steps above until such time as you can honestly say that the resistant behavior has indeed dropped away.
Then go and have a great big fat juicy celebration and acknowledge something else – your willingness to change and grow! Have you decided you’d like to support yourself in this by committing now to joining the RichThinking Way? Or perhaps you’d rather register for my free teleclass on 25th September at 12 noon. This class is entitled family: ‘Why the Law of Attraction just isn’t enough for people passionate about what they do. What’s missing?’ It’s designed to give you a taste of the full programme, so if you’re still ‘resisting’, you’ve got nothing to lose!