- Am I being crabby with my nearest and dearest?
- Am I criticising those around me?
- Are my eating habits getting a bit too erratic?
- Am I smoking or drinking just a bit too much, too often?
- Do I find myself often looking for something to make me feel better?
- Am I checking my emails with frantic energy, or more often than three times per day?
- Do I have ‘lurching’ days more often than not, when I just seem to lurch from one thing to another?
- Am I over-exhausted at night?
- Have I fallen into thinking ‘if I want to get it done, I will have to do it myself’?
- Do I visit social media sites and then 2 hours later realise I’m still at the computer?
- Am I being just a bit too complaining about things not working?
If you’re finding yourself saying Yes to any of these, then you’re missing who you really are. When you miss yourself, you’ve fallen into the hands of your apparently friendly ego, which tries very hard to control your life by having you focus on what isn’t working. Sounds mad? Yes, it is!
But you can use these behaviours to your advantage by being willing to notice when you are doing them, and then using it as a signal to stop. For instance, this week a client told me her partner and she had had a row about her not respecting him. She found herself justifying why this wasn’t true, but the whole episode caused a lot of anger, hurt and pain between them. A couple of days later, a light bulb went off in her head, when she realised that it wasn’t him she didn’t respect – it was herself. She wasn’t respecting herself because she was indulging in some of the behaviours I’ve listed above. And because she wasn’t honouring and respecting herself, she couldn’t see the good in him either.
This will affect the whole of your day, which means the whole of your business for that day. Yes, you can be professional and behave as if nothing had happened. Yes, you can get the things that need to be done, done. Yes, you can just ignore it all in the hope it will go away. But no – you can’t behave like this and not have it impact you, and therefore impact your business. When you are missing yourself, you miss out on fun; enjoyment; pleasure. You miss out on flow, ease and grace too.
If you find yourself this week exhibiting any of these behaviours, then ask yourself the following:
‘Can I respect myself while behaving like this?’ The answer is very likely to be No. Follow that up with an invitation to yourself to commit to a day of respect, honouring and being present with the best friend you can have in your life – yourself.
Pay attention to how that makes you feel, and know that this is you having found yourself again.