How teamwork is the trick to getting things done

I'll do it.‘If I want something done well, it’s best to do it myself.’

‘I’m the best person for the job; trouble is, I’m the best person for every job!’

‘It takes too long to show someone else to do; I might as well do it myself.’

If you’ve ever heard yourself saying any of these, then it may be time to reconsider, as in uttering these words you are guaranteed to be creating a hard time for yourself.  It’s understandable – as a professional, you know your work inside out, and no doubt you are proud of the brilliant service you offer others.

But if you want to include freedom, fun and balance in your life, then you’ll have to rethink these kinds of statements.

I was reminded last night of the power of contribution and community while watching a TV programme. A UK family had travelled from the UK to Chile, and were building their own home in the middle of nowhere, an hour’s drive from the nearest small shop.  They really were doing it all themselves, as well – no building contractors, no plumbers or electricians or carpenters. Just themselves, some books and  – well, yes they did have help, actually. They couldn’t in the end do it all alone.

The help came in the form of neighbours, and cattle. Cattle to drag the trees that had been chopped down to make one of the roofs. A neighbour whose work is felling trees for building; another neighbour who hunts the wild boar to make a living; and a final man who acted as a guide for the visiting TV presenter.

It got me thinking about how easy it is to think, as a solo professional, that you are working alone, and that you are the only one who can do what you do. While that is of course possible, it’s not how the best businesses are built. Those, no matter what size, come about with teamwork – when a team of people get together to create, inspire and implement.

It means you have to be willing to delegate (tasks that others can do); dream (into what you truly want, and then go for that); and reach out for help that you maybe secretly know you need.

I have both my brothers who work for me on the website and other IT needs; my coach, who helps me focus on the next steps; my various Facebook groups who are usually up for giving a bit of advice; and both my mastermind groups, where I can both give and receive help. Plus I have an accountant, who is always available should I need his advice.

I love knowing that someone else is working on my business, at the same time as I am. If you’ve never tried this, I recommend it!

We all, in essence, work better, more satisfyingly and productively when we work together. Plus, it’s much more fun!  Do you have a group of people with whom you work? Who are they, and what do you do for each other?  Share in the comments section and let me know!

If you’d like to discover how having me on your team will help you get clear on where you are going, holding your hand along the way, and supporting you to live your highest life possible, then email me direct and we can explore that in a complimentary Wild Wisdom Session. Reach out, in other words, and ask for help!

A confession I’m a bit embarrassed about…

SAM_0737I am a bit embarrassed, cos it’s quite clear from the events over the last 3 weeks that I am not perfect at applying my own wild wisdom.

Cringe!  Gulp!  Want to hide under the table. Dare I admit this?

Well, if I don’t, I’ll be consciously pretending and that is inauthentic, not that honest and definitely is not wild wisdom.

So here goes.

I launched my Wild Wisdom Inner Circle (which took a lot of time – that’s OK, I really enjoyed doing it, especially the doodle drawings!), the first call was supposed to be happening tomorrow,  and now it’s not happening at all.

Why? Because I have pulled out from it.

And why did I pull out?  Because it felt… all…. wrong.

Was this a mad thing to do? On the surface, yes, there were some people signed up, and I had to let them down.  (Thanks, guys, and apologies again).

But I had to pull out because when I told the truth to myself about what was really going on, this is what I discovered.  I had:

  • not made an organized plan of how to let people know about it
  • posted just one Facebook post
  • not asked anyone else to help me promote it
  • not put an ad in our local community magazine
  • not set up the systems properly to remind people of what would be happening when

(and all of this is very unusual for me).

Even more importantly, every time I thought about putting it out there (this was after creating it, which was all fine), I felt:

  • Unconfident
  • Unsure what I was really doing with it
  • Reluctant
  • Low energy
  • Confused

Finally I paid attention to this!  And realized there were all kinds of reasons going on in the background which told me this was the wrong timing for this group, but mainly that it would be the first online group I had done since my husband was really extremely ill.

I discovered there was a whole lot of grieving I’d not done that was getting in the way – and some of it is still there.  (This manifested in me listening to a call about how to run a coaching group – me, who has led hundreds of coaching groups, both on and off line!  Who could run a call about this subject with my hands behind my back! That will tell you how out of alignment I really was – and it was this that pulled me up and showed me what was going on).

SAM_0734Since this realization, and with the help of 2 great colleagues, I managed to find the wisdom which told me to postpone the Circle, and to take time off to fully be in the Waiting Room of Grief. To acknowledge that is where I have been hanging out without realizing it, and then to open the door and take a peek outside – and hopefully more than a peek, a few steps.

So this is what is currently happening. I wanted to let you know because there is so much stuff out there in the business world in particular about ‘pushing on regardless of feelings’, about ‘the right time being now, no matter what else is happening’ or ‘it’s just fear, pay no attention and just do it!’

And there may be a place for that, for some people. But it’s not my way. Nor Wild Wisdom’s way, which says slow down; pay attention; allow space; respond to what emerges; trust that all is well (and indeed it is in the moment), and that you can go softly and sweetly enough to hear the true whisperings of wisdom that are wanting to make themselves known.

The result of this decision for me is a breath of fresh air and renewed energy for Wild Wisdom. Wheeeee!  My goodness, that feels better.

I know enough about myself to recognize the difference between fear of taking action, and a true reluctance for other reasons, and that’s what I wanted to share with you today, really.

It’s so easy to act out of fear, or even just mild anxiety. Or because you said you were going to do something. Or because you think you ought to, should do, must do.

Whenever any of these words, or the feelings associated with them, come to mind, PAY ATTENTION!  (Hopefully earlier than I did!) Because it is your soul calling to you, your very own wild wisdom, with a message. The message may not be to stop doing – but it is likely to convey something of great import to any action you do take.

Do share in the comments if this article has resonated with you, about a time when you listened or didn’t listen to your own whisperings.  I’d love to hear!

Want To Stand Out? Here’s A Unique Way…

‘Walk slowly amongst the crowd so you stand out’.

These words were heard from an inner voice that is constantly there when this body called Jane goes slowly enough to hear it. They were part of a much longer message I took down some months ago, and as I’m on the island of Erraid being forced to slow down by illness, I thought I’d share them.

The message is the opposite of what is thought by us humans, who believe that to stand out you need to be at the top of your profession, become a celebrity, have plenty of money, be inordinately successful at something, be outrageous in some way, or just be different.

But in fact all of that is the wrong way round. In a world where rushing is the norm, and where the 3rd world is desperate to catch up with the 1st world, the only answer, the sole answer, is to slow down.

Slow …… down…..

Yes, just do that right now, while reading this.  Watch what happens. (And if you don’t slow down, or even stop, then that’s OK!  But if you do, just notice what happens to your breathing, your attention, and how you feel from the inside out. You may be surprised).

One very, very simple way of slowing down is with your walking. The natural movement of the body. Begin to notice what it feels like to walk, to place your foot in front of another. To feel the earth beneath your feet. To breathe in as you place one foot down, to breath out as you place the other.

Begin to notice how others’ walk.  How their bodies are being held.  Whether they are in contact with the earth, or appearing to float above it in some way.  Notice the energetic tension that appears as people rush, hurry and speed from one thing to the next.

Notice it in yourself too. And choose today to bring a momentary gap into that rushing.

A moment when you simply stop.

Do it right now. Yes. When you consciously choose this, you are returning home in that moment.  Actually, you have never left, but you think you have, hence the rushing to get somewhere. The irony is you only get there when you stop going wherever you think you are going.

So stop long enough to look and see that where you want to be, you already are.

Here. Right now. Right here. Present in Presence itself.

5 ways your lack of self-worth impacts your business – are you doing any of these?

1. Believing your Limiting Thoughts

This is one that everyone does, sometimes more often than not.  It’s time to stop!  Don’t even bother to change them – just notice it’s happening, and then stop. Here’s an example of how to do just that.

Joy says, ‘Oh no, I’ll never be able to be as good as X over there’.  She’s telling a story called ‘Comparing myself with others’.  The thing is, it’s only a story, and a story is made up – made up by the mind which wants to keep you in your place. The comparing story is a very good way of doing that, because whether you are winning (ie better than your colleague) or losing (worse than your colleague) both are the opposite sides of the same coin.  So you’ll never get to the end of this particular story, as it just goes round and round.  So stop ‘reading’ that story!  Start another one, if you must, but this time make it a more positive one.  Better still, drop the stories completely and start dropping into who you really are beneath all the stories.  That’s the source of your own wild wisdom.

2. Running over time on your sessions

This can either be you being generous or valuing yourself too little, depending on where you are coming from. There’s a very fine line!  If you suspect you’re someone who runs over because you find holding boundaries difficult, then it’s your feelings of self-worth that are getting in the way. Practice holding boundaries in all kinds of situations and just notice what comes up to challenge you.  And expect to be challenged – when boundaries are newly set there will always be someone coming along to test them, so that you get the chance to hold the boundary and grow.  If you’re not being clear about boundaries, then you are doing a disservice to your clients and customers as well as yourself. It doesn’t mean they can’t be ignored sometimes – but then that is a conscious choice, not just something that ‘happened’.

3. Undercharging

Yes, this is a reflection of your self-worth too. Pay attention to all the justifications you have for charging whatever you do. They are just beliefs, can be changed or let go of, and you can start to earn more money while working less if you really get clear on this. Hint – charging what everyone else is charging is quite possibly another way of undercharging too, ‘cos how do you know if everyone else is valuing what they offer or not?   What used to amaze me when I was running my Clinic was how the hypnotherapists would be charging £60 an hour (this is back in the late 90’s) and the Alexander Technique teachers would be charging £25 an hour. Why? Who could say that one was more valuable than the other?  It’s up to you to decide  – and grow into a price that reflects the true value you give people.

4. Ignoring Your Money

This really is an action of disrespect – to yourself, your business and money itself.  And only someone who doesn’t value themselves very highly does disrespectful things. (OK, this is not about being perfect, just about doing the best you can!) If you’re ignoring either your expenses or your income, then stop that and start to get interested in what is coming in and going out, while feeling OK about it. You don’t need to feel good to start with,  just appreciate what you do have coming in, and appreciate that fact that you can pay what you can when it’s going out. Money is meant to flow remember, and your attention as to where it flows is a mark of respect for yourself and the money.  Plus as you monitor things more and more you’ll see in advance what needs to be done when, to take you where you are going, or to help you make the most of an opportunity. Very handy!

5. Tolerating anything!

What are you currently just tolerating in your life?  What are you just putting up with because you think it‘s necessary.  When I first asked myself this question it was really clear I was tolerating a slightly dirty house because I don’t like cleaning it myself and so I just didn’t do it!  Which meant I was tolerating more dust than I like, more bits on the carpet, more mess than works for me.  So I got someone to come and clean fortnightly, despite the thoughts of ‘not enough money, not OK to have someone to do this just for me, I have plenty of time to do it myself’ and so on.  And what happened was that on their first day, I realized that while they were cleaning, I was creating a programme that would ultimately be bringing in much more money than I would pay out on the cleaning. A lesson, or what!  But I had to value myself enough to make that move. So ask yourself where you are just being tolerant of a situation – it’s not that bad, but it’s not that good either, and see where you can increase your self-worth – and ultimately your bank balance.

Nothing to do with your business at all – or is it?

Before Christmas I had a ceremony in the woods at the back of the house, where I took off my engagement and wedding rings.

It felt hugely important, was both relieving and sad and tearful all at the same time. I was really touched later when I shared it on Facebook and received so many nice messages, even from people I’ve had no contact with for over 20 years. I didn’t know why it was so important to take the rings off, I was just trusting, because it didn’t feel right anymore to have them on.

What felt right was to have bare hands – until a couple of weeks ago.

I realised, in a flash of inspiration, that I needed to buy a new ring and marry myself. Continue reading