It often looks like this: (run down them and see if any apply to you – or add your own).
- – lack of time
- – lack of clients
- – too much time
- – general worrying or fretting about one thing after another
- – bad-temperedness, being on a short fuse
- – comparing yourself to others and finding yourself lacking
- – wondering if you are mad to be doing what you’re doing
- – only able to see the down side of things
- – criticising yourself and others
- – frantic energy, moving from one thing to another without completing anything
- – feeling terror in your tummy
- – waves of fear pulsating through your solar plexus
- – shortness of breath
- – an overall numbness
- – a sense of disconnection
I could go on! You get the picture though, fear can show up in any way at any time, and it’s important to know how it shows up for you.
Even more important though, is understanding how this fear constricts your energy and literally gets in the way of goodness coming to you. When you are feeling stuck, blaming or critical for instance, there is simply no room for anything else. And when there’s no room for anything else, you are shutting out any kind of abundance, pleasure, joy, peace, connection and happiness in what you are doing.
So it becomes vital to make room for more nurturing feelings, consciously and deliberately, and thereby make room for that pleasure and abundance. This means the following steps:
1. Noticing what you are feeling. Name it, and put a number to your feelings on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is low, slow, dense stuck energy, and 10 is high, fast, clear and clean energy. (If you have difficulty naming what you’re feeling, visit the Feelings Vocabulary on the website under Free Resources).
2. Make a decision you want to change that feeling. This means a willingness to haul back the energy that is going into making you feel bad (the critical thoughts, the blaming, the shortcomings or whatever)
3. Deliberately and consciously reel in (yes, as in a fishing line!) the energy that is taking you, and keeping you, where you don’t want to be on any longer. Keep bringing it back towards you. What does this look like? Just imagine actually going fishing in a river. You cast your line out into the waters and keep picking up nothing. Just an empty line. Criticising yourself for choosing this particular piece of river, you continue to get precisely nothing on the end of your line. Getting angry with the fish doesn’t work either, and nor does blaming your colleague who doesn’t seem to be having any trouble. There are fish out there, she’s getting them, so why are they not jumping on your hook?
You reel in – but this time you do it differently. You reel in not only your line, but your negative thoughts and feelings too. You bring them right back in, and let them go behind you into the river or onto the grass; wherever they go, you are not going to let them be cast out again.
Instead you project out thoughts and feelings that are more true – you are getting where you want to get to; its not fair on yourself to compare yourself to someone else in entirely different circumstances; you do have a great gift within yourself, and the right people will be able to recognise that.
4. Deliberately and consciously direct your thoughts and feelings towards what you do want (just as if you were casting your line again, into a different part of the river). Keep your positive energy out there by using thoughts and feelings that support you, not distract you.
5. Remember the truth – you are always protected, your sense of your own richness is deep inside you, you cannot know that this situation happening right now is not the next step in your liberation.
6. Breathe with awareness as you keep focused on the truth of your situation – not the apparent truth in the physical world but the real underlying truth within your heart which beats with passion and peace, even when the waters around are turbulent and seemingly empty of fat, juicy fish.
7. Be grateful by looking at what you DO have not what you don’t. Again, deliberately focus on the things, people and experiences that ARE working in your life, that ARE contributing to your business, that ARE nourishing and sustaining you.
Once you’ve got to the end of this (and it can take only a few minutes with practice) then you’ve created the best conditions for movement and change to happen. (ie the fish noticing your bait and being hooked).
Finally – let go of all of this happening in the way you think it ought to! You’ve probably heard this before, and it certainly is easier said than done. But it is important and you can do this by simply acknowledging what is happening within you in the present moment. Bring your mind to now, right now – and be grateful for that too.