How to cope when your heart drops at the very word ‘goals’.


Does your heart drop when you hear the word goal or goal setting? Or even New Year resolutions?   Have you gone off goals in a big way because of just not achieving them? Or realize you give up on your resolutions somewhere around the end of January? 

Dare I say it, have you even gone off setting an intention, or manifesting what you want? Perhaps because even if it did happen in the past, it didn’t turn out quite how you wanted?

I’ve definitely been in that place.

And it’s largely because the emphasis, particularly in western culture, is on achieving the end result, the outcome, as opposed to what actually goals, intentions and achievements are really all about, which is the journey in and of itself.
PlansPaul-300x233After all, you’ve no idea what surprises life might have in store for you, which may change your life entirely.  So being able to appreciate whatever path you’re on in the moment is really important. Then if something happens to shove you off that path and onto another one, you can still be getting the most out of the journey, even if the end result looks like it’s going to be quite different from what you thought previously.

However, having been off all this stuff in a big way,  yesterday I found myself reading someone else’s list of the goals they had, and had not, achieved in 2013.  And I noticed I began to write down things I fancied doing in 2014.

These were not business goals, although they included some in that area.  They were just things I thought I’d like to do, like having a ski-ing lesson. Doing more salsa dancing. Singing in a performance at least twice.

What was more important was I noticed my energy getting lighter as I wrote them. Lighter!  I couldn’t believe it.

In an area which I’d always associated with depression and gloom because of not achieving goals, here I was feeling excited and great about them!  They weren’t burning desires as Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, says is crucial. They were simply things I fancied having, or experiencing.

So here’s my current take on goals, desires and what you want for 2014.  This can be applied to your whole life, or just your business, or both.

Read the questions, notice your energy level on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being you’re really enthused and 1 being no energy whatsoever.  Leave out the ones you don’t have energy for and come back to them if you wish – or challenge yourself if you think you’re just avoiding something!

Then, in an atmosphere of play, enjoying yourself and having fun (because it’s meant to be a game 🙂 ) answer the following for yourself, in whatever way you wish – writing them down, drawing them, dancing with the answers, recording them – be as creative or non-creative as you like.

Reviewing 2013

  1. What 5 accomplishments happened, no matter how tiny or how big?
  2. What 3 lessons have you learnt from apparent ‘mistakes’ or ‘failures’?
  3. What did you love doing last year that you want to have more of this year?
  4. Where did you feel out of balance?
  5. What are you finally ready to let go of, and why?
  6. What have you been grateful for?

Now take a deep breath. Get up and move, just around the room, or into another space entirely, or go outside.  Say goodbye to 2013, in a ritual if that’s your thing.

Or just say ‘bye bye’ if that feels more natural.  The form doesn’t matter; acknowledging new, clean, fresh energy is what this next step is about.

Entering 2014

Remembering that regardless of what you say you want to experience in this next year, it’s the journey that is really important, not the end result. It’s not what you think you ought to do, should have, need to be, or even anything remotely like that.

It’s just what you fancy – what you prefer, not a life or death situation, just a preference. In other words, the less attached and involved you can be in the outcome of the journey, the better.

If you notice you’re agitated, or have anxious energy, or feel contracted at any point with this process, then apply my mantra:

Stop. Be still. Listen. And only then Act.

This is how you can discover what really wants to be on your list, as opposed to what you think ought to be on it.

If you create a ‘what you fancy’ from this place, you’re listening to your heart, to Spirit, to your soul.  And given that that is who is really running your business (and your life), despite what the ego thinks, it’s more likely you’ll have an enjoyable time on a day to day basis.

And then you find yourself in the desirable situation of really not minding whether or not your ‘what you fancy’s’ have happened or not!

Your Questions for 2014

  1. What did you love doing last year that you want to have more of this year?
  2. Write down 5 things you’d love to accomplish in 2014
  3. Note what you think might get in the way of that
  4. Write down what help you need to accomplish them
  5. What 3 things do you want to treat yourself to?

A final note on income: if you want to create a certain amount of income in your business, visit this link Heart-Centered Goal Planning from Mark Silver of www.heartofbusiness.com. It’s a beautiful way to find an amount that feels good to you at whatever stage you are at in your business.

If you’ve got any questions about this article, or want to share your own goals, then comment below and I’ll reply.  And in the meantime – Happy New Year!

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