Searching for a Silver Lining..

Cancer. The very word can cause fear and constriction. Despite many people learning to live successfully with cancer, it is still thought of as a merciless killer in many respects. What has this got to do with your business? Well, nothing, at least nothing to do with your business I hope.

But it’ s a lot to do with mine, because my husband has just been diagnosed with stomach cancer. Fortunately caught relatively early, and it’ s treatable, but still, a very serious life threatening illness. Talk about an opportunity to think rich! (Ironic laugh from me here).

Needless to say when we first heard this news, thinking rich didn’ t come into it. Shock was the prevalent feeling, for both of us. And then anxiety and a whole range of other emotions, for me primarily anger, actually not just anger but rage, for all kinds of reasons. In fact I’ ve spent quite a time this week connecting with all sorts of different parts of myself that have been activated by this news; a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

However when the reality began to sink in, and I began to accept that this was happening, I also began to think about what could be the rich thinking way to view this situation. Here’ s the result of my ponderings:

  • It’ s made me realise my priorities (ie health comes before anything else)
  • I have been on the receiving end of a lot of love and support
  • I’ ve allowed all the feelings to be there fully, instead of suppressing them which I might well have done years before
  • I’ ve had more frank conversations with my husband than we’ ve had for a while
  • I’ m incredibly grateful for the community of people we know and live with, who are so supportive in very practical as well as emotional ways.

No doubt there will be some more, at least I hope so!

The point of my telling you this is to highlight the importance of thinking rich in any given situation – why? Because it frees you from the negative emotions associated with any event that you don’ t like for whatever reason. And when that happens, you can make better decisions; you can hear what your heart is trying to tell you; and you can find a place of peace inside, even in the midst of turmoil on the outside. Sounds almost impossible that last one, but I’ ve had good practice over the last year in relation to financial challenges, and here I am again able to find a sense of peace,even when we are in the middle of a ‘ storm.’  Not always – but often.

So when you are next faced with a challenge of some kind, of any nature, here’ s what I’ ve learnt that you might find useful:

  • Allow yourself the full range of emotions you are feeling
  • Back off from judging them, either negatively or positively – just observe they are visiting
  • Be willing to reach out for help and support
  • Stop and be still before you act
  • Remember to connect with the essence of life and who you are

In fact, you might be able to respond as my husband has chosen to respond to his cancer. He was talking to one of our friends just the other day about it:

“ I don’ t like all this talk about winning the battle with cancer, and fighting it, ‘ he said. ‘ It feels all wrong to me. I would rather treat it as a welcome guest and listen to the message it is bringing me.’

His friend said: ‘ And the thing about guests is that they always leave’ .

And it’ s true. If you can welcome your emotion in fully, you can also ask it to leave fully, once you have heard the message it is bringing you. This is a very courageous thing to do, as it means being willing to be in the midst of whatever the feeling is in the moment, and trusting that it will pass through you and go on it’ s way. This can be scary because, as with all feelings, it’ s easy to think it is always going to be there. We think that about the feelings we like too! But there is a piece of knowledge about feelings that has stood me in good stead over all these years, and here it is: The one thing you can say for sure about feelings is that they always change. Nothing stays the same for ever.

Many blessings to you, and thank you for all the words of healing, love and support we have been
receiving.

24 thoughts on “Searching for a Silver Lining..

  1. Beautiful post Jane. What we all need to hear. I love the “welcome guest”. It reminds me of something I once heard Ram Dass say, “my fears used to trample all over me, but now I just see them coming over the horizon, wave to them and off they go…”

    • Thank you Claire! Wonderful quote from Ram Dass, I will post that separately to my quotes page. And will use it another time in a different article, it’s so poetic and just perfect in this situation.

  2. Hi Jane

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts at such a difficult time.

    Let’s hope your husband’s unwelcome visitor buggers off sooner rather than later!

    Very best regards to you both

    Barry

  3. Hi Jane,

    Thank you for your article on cancer. Most useful for many area’s of life. Well handled on all parts and a great inspiration to us all.

    With love, always

    Carolyne
    Xxx

  4. Thanks for your bravery to talk about it Jane.
    I’ve seen other marketers use personal and family stories as an opportunity to sell and I’ve immediately unsubscribed from them.
    I truly feel that you are offering us all the chance to take a little of your deep learning here.
    My heart goes out to you both and your family.

    • Hi Jane
      Gosh it never occurred to me to use a personal story like this to sell stuff. How horrid. Thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot.

  5. Thanks for sharing your very personal story Jane. I

    t really does help others in similar situations whether with health, finances, career, relationships. We can all learn a lot from you and your husband’s strength and wisdom to go within and be with this and learn from it, plus your willingness to share and inspire.

    Sending you much love and light x

    • Sheela, it’s great to hear that this is a help. I felt I could not keep it to myself, as these kinds of circumstances are so all-encompassing. Many thanks for your love and light.

  6. thank you for all your articles- always the right thing at the right time.
    this one was very moving- being able to share how human we all are- and at the same time inspiring us how we are all able to rise abough the problem and handle it from a higher place. i feel this is a place where we can all have so much gratitude ,for having the will- the strength and the tools to do the work
    thank you for sharing this with us!!!!!
    (as i just had myself a health challenge- and went through a lot of emotions’, i read your article over and over , as it helps me to bring some clarity in what i have and am going through. thank you !!!!!!!!!!
    wishing you all, a great and complete recovery

  7. Thank you for sharing this Jane, and my best wishes to you both. Your message is so timely (again!) as I’ve been ‘stuck’ in panic, rage, anger, despair the past couple of weeks since receiving a diagnosis of a fractured vertebra – anger that it should/could have been picked up sooner, that I’ve been living with intense pain and being ‘fobbed off’ for so long, fear about the future, and so on. So your reminder to allow ourselves to feel the full range of our emotions is brilliant.
    I will be thinking of you. And re-reading your article – often. Blessings, S

  8. After a lifetime of good health I too had a brush with the dreaded “C…..” a couple of years ago, and I completely relate to the rollercoaster of emotions which you describe! When I received the diagnosis, like your husband I decided that there was a lesson to be learned, and I looked at it as an opportunity for change. I thoroughly agree with you that it is most important to acknowlege your feelings, accept them, but then let them go. Regard them as your teacher, learn the lessons, and use that knowledge for change. Two years later I feel healthier than ever, and I am grateful for the lessons I have learned through this encounter on my journey!! My love and best wishes to you both on your journey and thankyou for sharing these insights!!

  9. I am so proud of you and Philip. You are an inspiration to me and I love you both. You’re the best sister ever (as well as Anna of course).

  10. Hi Jane, I’m excited by the courage and inspiration you’re sharing with us – yours and your husbands. I have a big Yes beaming, no – shouting out from within me!! I love that you’re encouraging more of this by posting your experience and realisations. Love, Sandy

  11. Hi Jane

    Thank you so much for your timely post (and those of all of your wonderful friends who have commented) as they have all helped me personally with a similar family issue.

    I count my blessing from the great teachings from each and every one of you – I am now learning the true and real value from meaningful posts.

    Blessings

    Cathie

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