The Magic of The Wrong Way Round

When you sleep you let go; you can’t help it, it’s just what happens. In this place of letting go, magic can breathe and thus create; that’s why people say ‘sleep on it’, or ‘things will look different in the morning’.

And it’s true, they often do. Not just because you are physically rested, but because in the space that occurs when the brain rests, there is an opportunity for the wiser wisdom of the universe to make itself known to you.

That’s how Wild Wisdom was born – awake early one morning I heard the words ‘wise and cheeky wisdom’ going round and round in my head, and I just knew they would somehow be important to my life and business.

It happened again this morning too. This time the words were: ‘look at everything upside down and then watch for changes’.

Aha!

This means you often do not need to make changes yourself. Simply turn around how you are looking at a situation and any change that needs to happen will occur of its own volition.

Having been someone who liked to be in control, who prided herself on doing what needed to be done (both internally and externally), I was literally stopped in my tracks when I discovered in 1995 it was not going to be easy to have children.

True, I had married a man who had had a vasectomy many years previously. True, I was ambivalent about having children anyway. True, that meant I wasn’t clear about what I wanted.

But also true was the fact that my late husband did have a vasectomy reversal, which worked, but two months later the tests showed no evidence of sperm whatsoever. They weren’t just weak, or in small numbers – they simply did not exist.

It was a terrible shock – choosing not to have a child, and not actually being able to have one are two very different things.  After some time of working through the grief, I realized I was beginning to get fed up with ‘trying to make things happen’ – even if you are doing it the ‘manifesting’ or ‘law of attraction’ way.

It looked like the change that needed to happen was that I did everything artificially possible to have a child (and I did look into those options). Certainly this is the method that is promoted in the West, at least.

But what I actually changed was how I thought about the situation. With much supportive help from my therapist at the time, and the I Ching, I turned my thinking on it’s head.  I discovered an open door to a room that contained thoughts such as ‘maybe I’ve unconsciously chosen a man who can’t have children as a reflection of my own ambivalence’ , ‘perhaps there are benefits in having no children’, and ‘who am I to interfere with nature?’

The willingness to go against the grain, to look at childlessness the ‘wrong’ way round, to create some breathing space for new ideas and thoughts about having children was indeed magical. That was wild wisdom being present, and allowed me to come to terms with never being a member of the Mothers Club.

There have been many other times since when I’ve used this kind of back-to-front thinking fruitfully, so what current situation in your life could benefit from a different perspective?  Once you’ve identified this, experiment with how you could use the I-Ching, or apply your own form of Wild Wisdom, and watch to see what happens!

If you’d like some help in that regard, then email me direct to apply for one of my free, 45 minute, Wild Wisdom Discovery Sessions (worth £250) and together we will discover what wants to be heard, seen, expressed in your own situation so you can view it differently and move forward gracefully and with ease.

How Modesty Can Be a Plus in Your Business

iStock_000015742269XSmall-150x150

“Are you awake?” I heard my husband say quietly. It was 4am.

“Yes,” I replied. “Are you worrying?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s throw the I Ching then,” I said.  This is the ancient and highly respected Chinese method of divination, one of my middle of the night survival tools, which never fails to calm me down if I am worrying, no matter what about.  This time, the hexagram received was number 15, Modesty, and although I hadn’t consulted it with business in mind, later that day I began to reflect on the presence (or not) of modesty in business.

What is modesty, and can there be a place for it at all in business? Continue reading

Middle of the night worries and what to do about them

You wake up and it’s dark. Intuitively you know it’s some ungodly hour like 3.30am or something. You’re not supposed to be awake, you’re supposed to be sleeping, just like your partner who is out cold beside you. How irritating!

Somewhere inside you groan, as your mind starts to whirr about your concerns. Now you’re really awake and going over and over in your mind the problem and imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios. How come it’s always in the middle of the night that you feel the worst? Continue reading

Fear: how to survive middle of the night worries

Thump, thump, thump!  Panic stations.  Sometimes you find yourself sitting bolt upright in bed. You just know it’s those wee small hours again, a time when you never feel so alone.  Or maybe you find yourself awakening slowly, finding the fear overtaking you, despite your best efforts.  How do you cope when this happens? Continue reading

Inspired action vs motivated action

 

What’s knitting got to do with inspired action, and what is inspired action anyway?

I’m an early bird, and there’s usually a whole series of things I like to do in the early mornings when I get up, which could loosely be called a spiritual practice.  Some of these are reading and practicing the lesson for the day in A Course in Miracles, affirming and imagining what I want, and going for a walk in the woods or by the sea.

This morning, after reading the lesson, I knew I had the RichThinking Times to write for April, but did I feel inspired to do it?  No!  And because I’m practicing with taking inspired action instead of motivated, I was slightly alarmed to realise that I really wanted to  do was prepare the cardigan I’m knitting for sewing up.  Whoa!  Not allowed! How dare I even think of doing something as frivolous as this at this time in the morning when I have the house to myself and it is my most creative time!  All my old beliefs and attitudes kicked in.

As I stood over the ironing board, pinning out the cardi, I realised I was feeling guilty too.  This was no good.  I knew it was just old Puritan work ethics coming to the forefront (I’m from a long line of hard working, dour Scots) but there’s no good doing something you feel inspired to do and then feeling guilty about it.

So I let go of it. Just like that.  As I ironed, I let the guilt disappear in the steam of the iron. I remembered the lesson from the morning about forgiving myself, and I applied it.  I began to feel less guilty; then I began to enjoy what I was doing.  Aaaah!  Big sigh of relief.  Back in balance again.

These are the kinds of things we get challenged with all the time.  In every moment there is an opportunity to put into practice operating from the highest place inside yourself, or from a lower place.  If I hadn’t been working with this notion of inspired action I would have been at my computer trying hard to compose a newsletter article that sounded genuine.  I probably would have got there in the end, but with more effort and less ease.

Now here I am, having done what I felt inspired to do, and into the bargain I get the topic for the April newsletter.  And it happens easily and within 20 minutes. Wow!

So let’s really look at the difference between inspired and motivated action, and how you move away from the idea that if you let yourself do what you really want to do, you’d just lie around all day (as someone asked me the other morning).  One thing that I’ve done to address this idea is to do it.  Just stay in bed one day and see what happens.  Wait and watch to see what it is that inspires you to get out of bed.  Granted, this might be difficult if not impossible if you have children (!), but perhaps you can organise someone else taking care of them, and then experiment. This way you are meeting the fear that is speaking.  In the staying in bed, you are acknowledging it, and, as Susan Jeffers says ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’.

How can you tell when you’re ‘motivated’? Because even if you feel reasonably OK about it, it’s likely to be accompanied in your mind by sentences beginning with words such as “I must, I should, I ought, I need to…”.  And even if they are true (for instance, it’s true to say I needed to compile the RT Times), that’s no reason to do it out of a place of effort.

Inspired action on the other hand accompanies thoughts such as “Oh I can’t wait to…” or “I really love doing… “, or  “I feel like…”.  And the feelings associated with inspired action are likely to be enthusiasm, excitement, joy, passion, keenness, happiness, contentment.

So listen to your impulses. Learn to trust them and watch what happens. Obviously if you have clients to see, and other appointments already made, you’ll keep them.  But in the time outside of this, I invite you to experiment and see what happens.  You might be surprised!