I unwittingly jumped on a rollercoaster ride when I came back from holiday a few weeks ago.
I was plunged into a tsunami of rage towards my dead husband of 3 years.
It’s been a very long time since I felt like this, and it was a bit shocking to be taken over so much by these intense feelings. It only lasted a couple of days, but I criticised myself for not being able to work; I berated myself for not being further forward in my life; and I felt stuck. Stuck, stuck, stuck. Swirling around in the tears and the anger and the pain that it all brought, old habitual limiting thoughts rising to the fore.
It came to a head when I noticed how furious I was with the newly-retired man living next door. What for? Because he was retired and he and his wife could do whatever they liked on his pension. And I had no man, who had left me with a very precarious financial situation.
That stopped me. I had to laugh, it was so outrageous! He had done nothing at all, and yet he provoked my fury. Obviously, I needed help!
I got help in the form of good colleagues helping me get my mind straight, after the floods of tears which were the aftermath of the tsunami. But the washing through of this, and a willingness to trust the process (which I had been resisting) emerged again and I spent the next two days doing what I really wanted to do – have a good clear out of my flat.
Normally, I spend most of my time doing what I want to do. So this whole episode was unusual to say the least. But I’m sharing it here because it was the precursor of another event – and looking back, I can see it was the darkness before the light.
At the same time, I was working with Julia Stege, The Magical Marketer (This is the woman I mentioned to you last week – our call together has been moved from Monday 11th to Tuesday 19th May, details following in a separate email).
The result of this has been far-reaching. I am celebrating another change for Wild Wisdom, woo hoo, bring it on! I seem to thrive on change, once I get used to the idea it is happening 🙂
Julia and I came up together with a statement that encompasses how my work with Wild Wisdom and my forthcoming book Gifted By Grief combine together:
“I help spiritual women business owners who have been stopped by grief to awaken to the gifts and wild wisdom in their situation, so they can step fully into their new life and make the contribution they were born to make.”
It was so obvious! I even remembered that my business coach had mentioned this connection to me a few months ago – but obviously I wasn’t ready to hear it, let alone act on it.
I was resistant because I thought it meant a very narrow niche – how many spiritual solo professionals and small business owners had been stopped by grief, like I was? Well, on reflection, when I realised everyone has had grief of some kind in their lives, quite a lot!
Grief is all part of the human tapestry of emotion. It comes with being alive in a body. What’s important about grief is how it is pushed away, tolerated, or welcomed in. When either of the former two happen, it will make its presence felt (eventually) in no uncertain terms.
It is well-documented that when grief is not processed fully it can have a detrimental effect on the body, let alone on any other aspect of life. And even when it is welcomed, it can still cause problems.
So how does grief show up in life? Here’s a list with a few ways:
- Death of a loved one (person or pet)
- A loved one has illness/diagnosis
- Kids leaving home (empty nest)
- Forced to move
- Losing a business partner
- Career change causing confusion
- Loss of health
- Loss of innocence (eg if raped)
- Loss of hope (eg infertility)
- A dream not realised
So I will be focusing my website and my marketing to this end. I’ll be posting about the myriad ways that life ‘interferes’ with your plans, and causes you to stop, both at an inner level and an outer, more practical level. And of course, what to do about it, even if it is just being comfortable with stopping.
My heart really sings when I facilitate and witness an inner transformation, a light bulb going off in someone’s head as they see/hear/feel things differently, and which impacts their behaviour. Then I’m in heaven, grateful for the opportunity to serve, and delighted that this is my work and I get paid for it!
My Spirit in Business 5 Steps to Success programme begins with the element of discovering exactly who you are, and what you offer to the world, so that will stay the same. Likewise, there is still a place for the Radical Income Welcome Toolkit, which is full of gems that are useful in all walks of life, not just when you’ve been stopped by grief.
So the website will be changing in the next few weeks as I get my head around what my heart wants to move forward with.
I invite you to come on the journey with me.
And if you would like to explore the situation you find yourself in at work or in your life, please contact me for a free 30 minute exploratory session, where I can listen to you, hear what’s being said in between the words, and help you get clear about your next steps forward.