What to Do When You Just Can’t Do It!


‘Oh God I just can’t do it!’ 

How many times have you heard either yourself or someone else say this? Well, it is usually wailed, not just said! Even when you know that using the word ‘can’t’ is not an ideal thing to do, sometimes it just slips out, especially when you are dealing with something that is challenging or that you find doesn’t come easily.

There are lots of different ways to deal with this of course, and a new one presented itself to me the other day. I was having a regular Alexander Technique lesson, with the teacher helping me to sit down and rise up in the natural way of the body. (My tendency is to stick my neck out, tense up, resulting in the rest of the body being hauled up; not good for long term health). He said ‘You’re brilliant at this!’ And lo and behold, the upward movement happened with ease. He said it again, when I was preparing to sit – and there was the ease again.

When ease is present, in any action, it feels as if the action is effortless. This is what is meant when people talk about behaviour as effortless, which is confusing to say the least, as anyone can see that action means doing something, so isn’t that about effort? But in fact I am talking about the same actions being taken, therefore it looks the same, but the feel of the actions is quite different when you meet them in a different energetic way.

It occurred to me that this simple sentence ‘you are brilliant at this’, without embellishment, would of course work in any situation – so long as the mind doesn’t interfere with it’s tendency to immediate criticism.

So yesterday I tried it out in my business. I had a lot of administration to catch up on, and it did indeed happen with ease! Yes, there were some frustrations which meant I couldn’t quite finish the job I wanted to do, but even that did not faze me as it might have done once.

Why is this so important? If you get the job done, does it really matter whether it is done with ease or not? Well, when ease is present, then Grace is present too, in my experience.

What do I mean by Grace? A spiritual definition of it is ‘unmerited favour from God.’  But it can also be defined as ‘seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.’

The amazing thing is, it’s not that Grace has to be invited in – it’s always there. So is ease actually, but neither of these words have a very good press in our busy, busy, busy emphasis in life these days. However, they are always there, in the background, just waiting for the ego/mind to open up a channel for them to flow through. Bringing their special qualities they then infuse every action with a pleasurable energy that results in the you, who is doing the action, feeling relaxed and good about it.

In the case of the Alexander lesson, the experience of sitting and rising with ease and Grace was quite different, albeit in a subtle way. And the same thing happens when you are doing any businesss activity, be it your act of service in dealing with a customer, giving a treatment, talking to suppliers or clients, even doing your administration – and particularly when doing your marketing and promotion.

When Grace is present, there is an energetic quality that others respond to without even knowing it. There is a lack of pressure, and a presence of a kind of quiet joy that often results in people simply liking being around you, spending time at your website, and recommending you to others.

I invite you to try this out for yourself. In my case the sentence ‘you are brilliant at this’ worked wonders. In your case, it might be something different but I suggest you try bringing this particular sentence to something that you feel somewhat challenged by and see what happens.  Enter into the activity with an open mind and a thought of being brilliant and watch what happens. And post below and share it with me!

3 thoughts on “What to Do When You Just Can’t Do It!

  1. Hi Jane,

    Just a quick note to say that it is twice this year that your Rich Thinkers benefited me- first one was how to stay focused and second is this one.

    My essays that I challenge me every step of the way, so much that I just don’t dare start on them. I’m going to be naturally just brilliant 🙂 xx

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