‘I wish things were a bit easier financially’
‘All I need is another hour in the day then everything would be better…’
Recognise any of these? I’ve certainly thought them all in my time.
The actions as a result of these thoughts seem obvious, don’t they?
Advertising, fliers, blogging, FB messages, networking, setting up more sales conversations, offering a new programme or product – whatever is your favourite way. Nothing wrong with this, and it’ll probably take care of that second sentence too, about money.
And while you might not be able to create more time in terms of the hours in the day, you can certainly employ some better time- management techniques and get another hour in your day that way.
There’s nothing at all wrong with these actions. Lots of them may very well work for you, or at least have done in the past.
But. But, but, but.
Do you actually DO them, or do you just get overwhelmed with the thought of taking yet more of the same old actions to try to get yet more clients, more time or more money?
Which results in doing nothing, or doing it half-heartedly?
Are you even feeling a bit fed up with whatever kind of manifestation techniques you might be using? Or perhaps you’ve given up on those too?
If any of this resonates with you, then it’s no wonder you are a bit jaded and tired of it all 🙂
Here’s what’s really going on. Even in a spiritual context, where actions can take on much more meaning and therefore become easier to do, you can still be operating out of the ‘have-do-be’ mentality.
Really? Yes, really.
Let’s look at this in much more detail.
By this statement ‘have-do-be’ I mean the common thinking of most humans today of:
‘I’ll be happy/peaceful/content when I have…… so I’d better do ……. to get it’
Reading this, you might be thinking ‘oh, that’s not me. I know about that – I don’t need anything material to bring me happiness or peace; I know it comes from the inside. I know it’s really the other way round: be-do-have – that’s not new’.
But the thing is, this ‘have-do-be’ mentality can still operate even in a spiritual context.
You can want enlightenment, and then everything will be all right. Or you want inner peace. Or just to be happy more often than not. Aren’t those things or experiences that you want to have? And why do you want to have them? Because you think they will bring you something you don’t have right now.
And so of course you then do the ‘doing’ stuff – reading self-help books, going on workshops, having meaningful conversations, all designed to help you become a better human being in some way, and then maybe you will reach the enlightenment, peace or happiness.
But what about if you are OK the way you are already? What about if you don’t ever read another self-help book again? Really – what about if, deep, deep, down, you are, in essence, 100% fine.
Daring to do your life and business differently fundamentally means you are at least willing to go in this direction of being OK the way you are, and turn ‘have-do-be’ on its head to ‘be-do-have’, in all areas of your life.
This means being willing to consider that you, your ‘beingness’ is just fine the way it is, beyond a personality level. It then means being willing to ‘do’ things the opposite to what everyone else might be doing. It means recognising that the ‘having’ bit is really quite irrelevant when ‘being’ is the primary focus.
So how does this actually look in practice?
In your work it might mean setting a context instead of a plan, as Benjamin Zander says in his book The Art of Possibility:
“In the measurement world, you set a goal and strive for it. In the universe of possibility, you set the context and let life unfold.”
Or it might mean learning all you can about a subject, then being willing to throw it out the window if it doesn’t feel right. Or refusing to do any work until you are in a place of enthusiasm for the task (enthusiasm coming from the Greek adjective entheos ‘having the God within’ – which means simply connecting with the essence of the task itself).
Or learning all you can about a subject, then being willing to throw it out the window if it doesn’t feel right. Or refusing to do any work until you are in a place of enthusiasm for the task (enthusiasm coming from the Greek adjective entheos ‘having the God within’ – which means simply connecting with the essence of the task itself).
Do you see the emphasis on ‘being’ here?
It definitely means pausing, for a moment before taking action (so that the action looks the same as any other action, but feels and is experienced differently); it might take the form of apparently letting someone down when you realise you are about to do something that is no longer right or appropriate for you.
And it may be that the received, mainstream wisdom about marketing simply does not work for you and you need to listen to your own wilder wisdom, daring to take action that looks quite different.
Once you begin to consider the idea that ‘being’ comes first, then your ‘doing’ actions come from a very different space. Sometimes, quite often even, these actions may look the same, but the quality with which they will be infused will be quite different. That’s when the end results start to change.
And the really amazing thing is that when you operate in this way, the end word of that trio of ‘be-do-have’ is simply not as important anymore.
Your attachment to the form of what you want loosens, if not drops entirely. What you think you wanted is just not what you really wanted. The relief in this is enormous.
I remember the first time this really struck me. I was walking across the park several years ago, having read an article about someone who had had a near brush with death. I was pondering what I would want to do with my life if I were told I might be about to die.
Having previously been wanting more money to invest in a secure future, to pay off the mortgage and to be able to live comfortably, it suddenly struck me that if I had all this but didn’t have peace of mind, the money and security would mean nothing.
As well as considering myself a deeply spiritual human being, these practical, financial thoughts were very important. I had somehow assumed though, that financial security and being set up for the future would in themselves give me that peace of mind. And it does look like that doesn’t it?
But I saw really clearly in that walk across the park that day that it might – or it might not. I’m repeating this now because this is important:
Living comfortably, with a financially secure future, might – or might not – give you peace of mind.
For me, the freedom in this realisation was enormous, as I saw that my real desire here was having inner peace.
Now I don’t want to lessen the impact of having more money, especially if you are finding it difficult to have enough to pay for rent, food, bills. It certainly, at a physical level, makes for a more comfortable life. And – it is not the be all and end all.
Becoming clear on what is really important to you in your life and business is crucial if you want to dare to do business differently. It is only that which will give you the courage and the confidence to stand out from the others, to take a risk, to experiment and watch what happens, which is often what doing it differently requires of you.
For me now, each moment is a precious moment where I have a choice to be happy and peaceful or not, regardless of circumstances. This does not mean that I have no ‘negative’ emotions; but they don’t affect me like they used to.
So I invite you to share here – how do you do your business differently? Are you coming from a place of be-do-have already? How does that show up in your business or your life?